Fannish Bulwer-Lytton Contest!

[trinityofone]

Smart Bitches Trashy Books is having a contest in honor of the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners. Two years ago, I held a similar contest. I feel like it's time to bring it back—with a vengeance!

Here are the rules:

1. Comment with the worst sentence you can imagine opening a fic. I am opening this up to any and all fandoms this year, with the caveat that, as the initial judge, I may be more partial to fandoms I am familiar with. Note: the sentence should be a sentence. Crazy punctuation is fine and even encouraged, but opening paragraphs will not be counted. ETA: You're welcome to make as many entries as you like. I'd recommend one per comment for clarity, but I'm not gonna be a stickler on that.

2. On Thursday morning-ish, I will choose my ten favorite entries for everyone to vote on. Feel free to comment on your favorite entries; my opinions on matters unpolitical can often be swayed. ;-)

3. Voting will run through the weekend; on Monday I will announce the winners and possibly some runners-up. There will be prizes! (Most likely a selection of used books on numerous enchanting subjects.)

4. Feel free to link! Let's see if we can make this an omnifannish extravaganza.

And...go!

Comments

[yue_ix]

The slimy stuff smelled like a combination of his old gym clothes after a training session, of his hand after he mastubated, and of European forest; John took a deep breath of the stuff and wrinkled his nose before he started yelling for Ronon or Teyla, hoping the caverneous feeling of the place would make his voice echo (but that prooved to be a bad idea when one of the tentacles unwrapped from his chest and slided along his neck and jaw to penetrate into his surprised mouth) - he tried to bite into it, but another wrapped around his throat and tightened until he gasped for air and the one already in his mouth slickly got in deeper, making him gag around it but not choke.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Yeek! And yet...SGA: home of canon tentacle porn!

[yue_ix]

Actually... that line IS part of a badfic a friend and I started co-writing for someone's badfic crack contest. There was suggestions for awfulness and we swore to meet them all. We stopped just short after the sentient tentacles got inside Rodney by way of his navel (and all true orifices while they are at it) so as to implant their egg-babies in him while John cries manly tears of arousal, jealousy and generic angst.

*hides*

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

...I'm going to have nightmares now.

[yue_ix]

You are welcome. <3

Btw, thank you for holding this contest: all entries are made of win. I'm going to write some down to cheer me up on bad days.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

Glad you're enjoying it! I needed some cheer myself. :)